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Certain disaster looms in our future, says scientist, as we gradually deplete our atmosphere of O2.

Herman Broktendock, a professor of meteorology at the University of Mississippi, announced today at a class lecture his prediction that we will all be dead in 12 years. Student reactions varied; most felt it was an issue that we need to tackle starting right now.

"Like, Professor Broktendorf is a really smart guy," says Jason McDoogle, one of Broktendock's students. "They don't just make anyone a professor, you know. So like, if he says we're dead unless we stop using oxygen now, he's gotta be totally sure about it."

A Swedish monk has predicted today that the end is near. Very near. UPDATE - 8:30 am, PDT - The entire staff of It's News, Dammit! is pleased to announce that the world did in fact not end at midnight. We will therefore be able to continue our tradition of bringing you the news you need to know!

Barcelona, Spain - Recent studies of the writings of Nostradamus, the world's most infamous prophet, predict that through Microsoft's X-Box, the latest entrant into the home console gaming and entertainment market, Bill Gates will come to dominate the world.