Brown University scientists have discovered that the common "forget-me-not" flowers can actually help people not to forget.

Although the Spirit and Opportunity rovers on Mars have found evidence for a wet history for the planet, NASA scientists were forced to admit that thus far, they have uncovered no evidence of life on the red planet. Democrats have criticized the space agency for leading America to the warrior planet based on lies.

U.S. space agency cautions that Coke was chosen for chemical properties and is not necessarily the beverage of choice for all researchers at NASA.

Anonymous Reader writes "Scientists at the University of Arizona at Tucscon have blamed air conditioning as the main cause of cancer in the warm desert southwest of the United States.

Researchers in the biochemistry program at the university ran a study to determine what was at the root of skyrocketing death rates in the region. "When we began the study, we were at a complete loss to explain the high death rate from cancer in the desert southwest," said Philbert Johnson, professor of microbiology. "The death rate in the region is five times per capita of that of the U.S. as a whole."

Relying on forensic investigative techniques, and sometimes a little dumb luck, the scientists forged on with their research. The entire effort lasted over five years, tracking the lives of nearly two hundred people from the Tuscon and Phoenix metro areas.

Robot slaughters hundreds at research facility

Dayton, OH - Two hundred twelve lives and tens of thousands of man-hours were lost Saturday after an artificial intelligence experiment went horribly wrong. Full details have not been released yet by authorities, but reports by witnesses tell accounts of violence and bloodshed that security guards and police were unable to stop.

Controversial Welfare-to-Work program tested experimental "work-inducing" radiation on jobless

Madison, WI - State officials and the University of Wisconsin - Madison Board of Regents admitted Wednesday to an experimental program conducted by a research group at the university which irradiated welfare recipients with several doses of so-called W-rays (work rays). The experiments, which took place in 1999, were funded by a collaborative effort including the State Department of Workforce Development and Monster.com.

Petropavlovsk, Russia - Many people in this port city are wondering what the future holds for native son, Ivan Ivanolov. This would not be unusual except for the fact that Ivanolov is eight foot ten inches in height, three hundred fifty-nine pounds and only sixteen years eleven months of age. While those dimensions are staggering they do nothing to excite NBA scouts as much as his sheer athleticism. The only problem with Ivan? His mysterious past.

Ivan was born on June 24th, 1986 that much is known. However all other records including the names and identities of his parents as well as their location were sealed by the Soviet Union and have not been declassified by the new Russian Republic. A seemingly friendly scientist, Petrov Ivanolov, who formerly worked on secret projects for the Soviet Union during the 70's and 80's at the Petropavlovsk Labs of the Workers and Laborers of the Soviet Union, raised Ivan and his adopted father claimed to know nothing about his origins. Petrov died of severe cancer December 9th of 2002 taking any secrets he was still holding to the grave with him. With his adopted fathers past well known and it also being well known that his specialty was in genetic manipulation it has widely been thought that Ivan was created at the labs by Dr. Ivanolov and other scientists.