Thursday: Decker and Jeff

Thursday started out an average day, but it didn't end that way. I was in the middle of a fun game of Sister Tossing¹ with Matt Decker when there was a knock at the door. I told Matt not to answer it; it was probably just some Jehovah Witnesses. Matt insisted we open the door, saying we could blow them away with a couple of .44 Magnums. I agreed that sounded like fun, so I got the guns and opened the door. Unfortunately, it was my friend, Jerod. I asked him what he wanted. He pleaded me to let him live. I asked him what he meant. Then I realized Matt and I had him at gunpoint. I told Matt to put down his gun, and he did, but reluctantly. He told me he hadn't shot anyone in 241 minutes. I told him he could shoot the next person to come through the door. I asked Jerod why he was here. He said he wanted money, and if he didn't get it, he would let Jeff² eat anything³ in the house. I told Jerod not to make any rash decisions, but he said it was too late for that. He went to the window and told Jeff to come in. Jeff came through the door, and Matt eagerly shot him. I watched the bullet as it left the gun, hit Jeff in the stomach, bounce back out, and ricocheted through the room. Jeff was unfazed. He grinned hungrily at the sofa. If it hadn't been for that ice cream truck⁴ that went by, I would now be sitting on the floor, if I even had a house left. Jeff ran out the door, followed closely by Jerod, yelling at him to come back. If there's a moral to this story, somebody better tell me, because I haven't got a clue.

Footnotes
¹ Not to be confused with Midget-Tossing.
² A short, round person, somewhat like an overstuffed bean bag.
³ You wouldn't want to be in his way when he's eating, if you get my point.
⁴ They play the most annoying, ear-piercing music, don't they?

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